Growing decent face-fuzz isn't just a case of losing your razor. Follow our guide to make sure you are doing everything to ensure you're boat-rug is as good as it can be...

Words By David Hillier

You’ve probably noticed it, but your high street is definitely getting hairier. So hirsute is it, in fact, the theory goes that the beard will soon pass out of fashion and go the way of trucker caps, ironic ties and your dad’s bell-bottom flares.

Fortunately, we still like them and know that many of you out there are embracing your inner sea captain. Unfortunately, while everyone most people can grow a beard given the right circumstances (ie time), not everyone looks after it properly. When you consider that it’s on your face, this compares with naked skydiving in the completely ridiculous stakes.

With all this is in mind, it pays to give some love to your face-ware. Here’s our breakdown of the way to keep yourself both fluffy and sharp.

Condition and (honestly) moisturise

You look after the hair on your head so why would you ignore the stuff on your face?  Go for a natural conditioner if possible, and use it a couple times a week.  Try and use something seaweed based. Ocean good, factory bad.

After this a daily leave-in moisturiser is necessary, ideally with bees wax.  This will make it SHINY, and anyone that says they don’t like shiny things is lying.


Trim, baby, trim

You don’t want the hair growing too far down your neck, unless you really want to to express your inner Saquatch.  As a general rule, don’t let it go much further than inch or two below your jawline.
Supplement this, by once a month…

Getting it trimmed at a decent barbers.

Getting your beard trimmed is infinitely better than getting your hair cut.  The first thing to do- and this attitude should really be applied to this article as a whole- is to cast aside any aspersions you might have regarding what is and isn’t okay for a bloke to have done in a barber’s (unless it’s pedicures, obviously).

You’ll be shocked at just how long a decent beard trim can take; up to forty minutes in a good place like Joe’s And Co in Soho. It can take in hot towel treatments (putting a nice-smelling hot cloth on your face), cold towel treatments (ditto cold, to close the pores), a throat cut and a variety of other treatments that if you let them will pose a threat to your inner man.  Do not let this happen. You are man, and having another male massage moisturiser into your face after threading the little hairs (and yes, the eyebrows) out of your face does not in any way infringe on your abilities to make fire and beat chest.   Much.

Learn to love your comb

For a couple of weeks that beard is its own master and you just have to let it be, other than stopping it creeping too far up your cheek and down your neck.  Once you’re defiantly passed stubble territory it’s a different beast and people will stop proclaiming that you “you look a bit dishevelled” and replace it with things like: “so, uhm, yeah, the beard is actually a thing you’re doing, then?”

Once the hair is roughly the equivalent of a number four on a pair of clippers you want to start combing it downwards.  This will give it shape, frame your face and momentarily put a halt to the inevitable Tom Hanks/Castaway comparisons. (Though we think he actually looks quite cool here.)


This is the key to everything when you make the call to grow a beard.  People are going to talk about your beard; your parents will probably consider you to be going through a ‘phase’; not all girls are going to fancy you with it.  Don’t worry about any of this.  If people ask you why you’re growing one (this will happen) say: “because I really like it.”

When a girl tells you she prefers you without it (this will also happen), shrug your shoulders, smile and say: “well, most people have said I look better with it.”

One thing you will notice is that girls will mostly fall into one of two camps, beard likers or beard hikers.  If it’s in the latter camp you’ve really got no chance so stand back sunshine, at ease.  Some lasses just don’t like fuzzy blokes, and all power to them: everyone has their preferences and no amount of schmoozing you can do will change that.  However, you will also find yourself getting attention from a new type of girl who really digs them.  These are the sort of girls that come up to guys in bars or stop them in the street, and tell them how much they like their beard.   That’ll balance out the naysayers. Believe!

Check out Topman's grooming range here


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